Oman to Syria

 

Oman

My monitor isn’t liking the green touching the pinky-red and neither am I. The swordy logo isn’t impressing me as (in general) I don’t like guns, knives, swords or weaponry on flags – I find it aggressive and unsettling. There is the potential for a really good flag in here somewhere, but at the moment it’s back to the drawing board for this one.

Score: 2/10

Pakistan

It’s by no means a bad flag and I can see what they’re trying to do, it’s just kinda dull isn’t it? Plus it makes me want to scribble in the margin.

Score: 3/10

Palau

Another take on the flag of Japan (weird considering how much the Palauans suffered under the Japanese occupation) but if you’re just going to have a simple coloured disk in the middle of your flag a) centre it and b) pick better colours.

Score: 2/10

Palestine

Very similar to the flag of Sudan, but this effort from State of Limited Recognition we know as Palestine is not offensive in any way, has a good colour scheme and (mercifully) has not been scrawled over with a magic marker. Nice one!

Score: 6/10

Panama

At last! A Central American flag that isn’t a re-hash of the Argentinean flag (hang your heads in shame El Salvador, Nicaragua, Honduras and Guatemala!) AND a Latin American flag that doesn’t have an idiotic crest in the middle of the damn thing. It may look a little like a Battenberg cake, but I like it. It’s also one of the most common flag you’ll see being flown from ships – there are more ships registered in Panama City than anywhere else on Earth.

Score: 8/10

Papua New Guinea

The diagonal break makes it seems like there’s an either/or thing going on here. You can have a bird of paradise or you can have a Southern Cross. Or maybe it’s battlelines – PNG’s yellow bird taking on the stars of Australia – a flag war, if you will. I’ve said before that the Southern Cross is an overused device on flags and although I like the colour scheme, the flag of PNG looks very much like a work in progress.

Score: 5/10

Paraguay

For heaven’s sake, Paraguay, can’t you do anything right? This is the flag of the Netherlands. And Luxembourg. A hint: your national flag is not your PE kit, you shouldn’t need your mum to sew your name onto it. The only thing of interest about the flag of Paraguay is that it is the only national flag with differing designs on the obverse and the reverse – which would be cool if only both efforts weren’t so half-arsed.

Score: 2/10

Peru

The Canadian flag without the iconic maple leaf. Not ugly, but it is desperately dull.

Score: 2/10

Philippines

A respectable effort here from my Filipino buddies, well balanced with a good logo. BUT… yellow on white doesn’t stand out so well and yes it does commit the cardinal sin of allowing the red and blue to touch.

Score: 6/10

Poland

That’s IT? Seriously Poland?!! You’re happy with that are you? FAIL.

Score: 0/10

Portugal

I actually quite like the hollow brass sphere thing going on here, reminds me of the golden age of exploration: a golden age that Portugal was at the forefront of. Does it make the flag a little too complex? Well, perhaps, but given how mind-numbingly dull the background is, I think it makes a nice balance.

Score: 6/10

Qatar

Although it came later, I much prefer Bahrain’s effort in this regard. Probably because there are too many zig-zags and the aspect ratio (weirdly 11:28) is a bit too super-widescreen for my liking. Oh, and purple.

Score: 3/10

Romania

No offence Romania, but dude… that’s the flag of Chad.

Score: 0/10

Russia

The classic hammer an’ sickle would have got 9/10, but this thing? Urgh… red and blue touching? Nooooooooo!!

Score: 1/10

Rwanda

Looks like something you might see while playing a 1980s Spectrum adventure game and walking north into a field of wheat. Not great, but a damn sight better than the old one (I seem to recall it was the flag of Guinea with a large black ‘R’ in the middle).

Interesting fact: the shade of yellow used for the sun is slightly different from the one used for the yellow band. True Story!

Score: 3/10

Saint Kitts and Nevis

A wonderful flag here from The Caribbean, the flag of St. Kitts and Nevis (pronounced Neevis) enjoys a good choice of design, colour and sentiment: two star-like islands on the up.

Score: 9/10

Saint Lucia

Saint Kitts knocks us for six only for Saint Lucia to go out for a duck. Another flag that looks more like a graphic from a 1980s adventure game (maybe an entrance to a cave?), the sky blue is as unwelcome as always and the overall design is lacklustre and, well, just plain weird.

Score: 2/10

Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Quit with the 80s video game graphics! A slight improvement on its northerly neighbour, but that’s not saying much. I can see what they’re trying to do with the V (for-Vendetta?) here, but overall, I don’t like the colour scheme and it looks dated.

Score: 3/10

Samoa

Red and blue touching? The Southern Cross? You know this review is not going to end well. A shame because I love Samoa. Which is why I’ve given them a couple of points for picking a nice shade of red.

Score: 2/10

San Marino

Horizontal light blue and white halves? Rubbish!! And the central crest is way too complex. Libertas? My ass!

Score: 2/10

Sao Tome and Principe

A fair effort from little old Sao Tome and Principe here, hidden off the west coast of equatorial Africa. The two-star technique is reminiscent of St Kitts and Nevis, but this flag is nowhere near as cool.

Score: 5/10

Saudi Arabia

This is a banner, not a flag. And a rather threatening one at that. The words mean “There is no god but God and Mohammed is the messenger of God.” I think we can hazard a guess at what the sword means.

Score: 0/10

Scotland

Excellent job by the Scottish contingent: great colours, simple, bold design. Paint it on your face and go fight the English. Love it.

Score: 9/10

Senegal

For heaven’s sake, Senegal, this is just the flag of Mali with a star in the middle! Did you think I wouldn’t notice? I’m tempted to send you to the back of the class until you behave.

Score: 1/10

Serbia

I’m getting a little tired of countries copying somebody else’s boring-assed tricolour and then palming it off as their own by plonking their heraldic crest in the middle of the damn thing.

Score: 1/10

Seychelles

Completely garish and totally nuts, but yes it is striking and yes it is memorable and I love The Seychelles anyway so I’ve given it way more marks than it probably deserves.

Score: 7/10

Sierra Leone

No bad, but not good either – far too similar to a load of other country’s flags.

Score: 3/10

Singapore

What? These guys nicked Monaco’s flag too??! Now I’m gettin’ angry! Although at least they’ve made an effort to add a moon and some stars… and Singapore is a wicked little place, so I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.

Score: 4/10

Slovakia

Is that the Russian flag AGAIN? Was there a rush on white/blue/red horizontal tricolours in the early 90s? I’m sensing a theme here. Oh hang on – it’s got some football club’s insignia on it. I guess that makes all the difference.

Score: 1/10

Slovenia

Hey Slovenia, you could at least pretend that everyone doesn’t get you mixed up with Slovakia by, you know, having a completely different flag to them. I’m just sayin’…

Score: 1/10

Solomon Islands

Green and yellow and BLUE? Not my top choice for the colour palette of anybody’s flag and The Solomon Islands is no exception. I should point out that I’m writing this while sitting in a bar in Honiara, the capital of The Solomon Islands. Hope nobody’s looking over my shoulder…

Score: 3/10

Somalia

The flag of Vietnam with a painfully dull and wishywashy choice of colours.

Score: 0/10

South Africa

Now THIS is how you have 6 different colours on a flag and get away with it!! The perfect mix – check out how only complementary colours are touching. The use of white and yellow fimbriation is inspired and the whole effect is a sheer joy to behold. Gets extra points for telling a story, that of different colours coming together and flowing as one in perfectly balanced harmony. Iconic, striking, powerful: truly a flag to be proud of.

Score: 10/10

South Korea

South Korea’s flag certainly bold and striking, and it fits nicely with the circle-in-the-centre theme of the region. I like the black lines, it’s like four international space stations orbiting the planet YinYang. Splendid.

Score: 8/10

South Sudan

South Sudan is the newest nation in the world and they decided to celebrate by giving the world one of the best flags in the world. Maybe taking its cue from South Africa, we have blue, yellow, black, white, red and green together on the one canvas, and yet it never feels overcrowded or garish. Well designed, well executed, a damn good job all round.

Score: 9/10

Spain

Oh come on Spain, you know as well as I do that your flag would look sooooo much cooler with the silhouette of the Osborne Bull on it. Do it!!!

Score: 3/10

Sri Lanka

I’m handing out extra marks for flags that are unique, and they don’t come much more unique than this great little concoction from Sri Lanka. A bizarre choice of colours perhaps, but all is forgiven by the addition of a lion holding a sword.

In fact, I’m prepared to soften my anti-weapons stance for this one because it’s a FRIKKIN LION HOLDING A FRIKKIN SWORD!! How cool is THAT?

Score: 8/10

Sudan

It’s okay (if very similar to Palestine’s) but it scales none of the heights of its southern counterpart.

Score: 5/10

Suriname

Suriname (rhymes with Vietnam) is a dinky little country at the top of South America. It’s funny that, considering it rhymes with Vietnam (but couldn’t be further away), it has exactly the same five-pointed yellow star on a red background in the middle there. A shame really, if they had picked something other than green for the outer bands, this might have been a really good flag. Oh well.

Score: 4/10

Swaziland

A cheeky little number from cheeky little Swaziland (the king has fourteen wives you know) and I have to say I rather quite like this. I know I usually mark down flags that use the old blue/yellow combo, but here I have to admit… it rather works. Like Kenya’s, it’s impossible to look at this flag and think of any other continent than Africa and there’s no better way of making people think you’ve got a kick-ass country than by having a kick ass flag.

Score: 8/10

Sweden

What was I just saying about the old blue/yellow combo? Yeah, sorry Sweden, you’re alphabetically the last of the Scandy Five and (in my humble opinion) you guys drew the short straw. But considering Sweden is one of the best places to live in the world and their ladyfolk are smokin’ hot, I’ve got a feeling they probably don’t care…

Score: 3/10

Switzerland

If you’re looking for a flag that is both iconic and straightforward, then you’ve come to the right place. The fact that this design is intrinsically connected to the Red Cross could have been a disadvantage (it’s no good if people are getting your embassy staff cars mixed up with ambulances) but the fact that millions of backpackers carry a miniature version of the flag on their pocket knives (I know I do) probably saves it from any misunderstanding.

Score: 8/10

Syria

Another solid effort here from the Middle East: good colours, easy on the eye and a nice simple design, no writing and no weapons. My only criticism is that it suffers from being a little too similar to the flags of Egypt, Iraq, Jordan, Palestine, Sudan and Yemen – it wouldn’t hurt to mix it up a little.

Score: 6/10

Find Papa Smurf’s hat!!

As strange as it may sound, the designers of the flags of the world must have got together at some point and decided to cleverly incorporate Papa Smurf’s Hat into the designs of FIVE of the world’s 193 flags (presumably as some kind of bizarre Geo-Vexillological Easter Egg Hunt). Your challenge is to find all five! The fifth and final hat is hidden somewhere on this page. Good luck!!

 

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