Day 1,390: The Costa Living

Tue 23.10.12: The two days at sea passed like some velvet morning (when I’m straight). For the last few weeks, I’ve been trying to be less of a fat bastard using a novel invention I like to call ‘the beer diet’. It’s nice and simple: you just drink beer and don’t eat anything. Honestly, it works! Magic!! However, on a cruise upon which I can’t afford to drink and the food is UNLIMITED and FREE, my great diet plan has been turned on its head. Now all I have to stop me stuffing my face with cheese and prosciutto is my own willpower. ARRRRRRRRRRGH!!! On the Tuesday we crossed 0° latitude, that magic invisible line of red that seamlessly circumnavigates the planet. Why is it 0°? Because that’s the angle of Polaris, the North Star, in the sky relative to the horizon at this exact point…

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Day 42: The Costa Fortuna

11.02.09: Got on the Internet as soon as I could and there it was - a message from Lorna, my guardian angel, bearing the heading ‘Costa cruise sorted for today'. I was sorted on a CRUISE SHIP to the Dominican Republic. A cruise ship!! Leaving that day. Oh. Hell YEAH! The Costa Fortuna. I had just hitched a ride on a Cruise Ship! A wonderful guy named Donald Ferguson, a representative for Rooster PR had gone out of his way to sort it out. What a legend. THANK YOU Donald! Excited, I headed down to the port to meet the very lovely Roberta and Rosa, who added me to the passenger list and gave me my Costa Card. I was in! I'd be in the Dominican Republic in the morning. I returned to Bytes, Beans and Websites to pick up my stuff and say goodbye to…

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