Day M53: This Is The Odyssey

19.11.11: I rose belated and bedraggled from my cabin at some godly hour and headed upstairs to grab some breakiefast. No Full English for me, sir, I’m happy with the Alpen, thanks. Then it struck me: I had agreed to do a talk today about my adventures around the world. Why did I do that? Heaven knows; I guess I’m a rampant self-publicist. Unfortunately, my name was put down as ‘Gareth’ Hughes on the Ship Newsletter. Quite why a guy called Gareth would present a show called ‘Graham’s World’ is a matter for greater minds than mine. I blame Willy, the ship’s Deputy Director of Entertainment; who sounds like a scouser, but do not be misled, he doesn’t come from Liverpool, he comes from Birkenhead. Consequently, like all Birkenheadians, Malaysians and Nigerians he’s a Kopite and maybe the whole ‘Gareth’ thing was sweet revenge for all…

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Day M52: Port Vila

18.11.11: As you all know (since you’re reading this and are therefore as intelligent as you are good looking) Port Vila is the capital of Vanuatu. Unlike the other places we’ve been to so far on this cruise, Port Vila has a port so no launches today, we simply pulled up alongside and hit the streets. Being an enterprising (read: tight arsed) chap, I took a walking tour of the capital, a rather pleasant, sleepy kinda place. Before independence, Vanuatu was known as the New Hebrides – a complementary name to New Caledonia (the Roman name for Scotland). It’s also worth noting that Vanuatu has an awesome flag. Unlike the Seychelles, which hasn’t. Also, people from Vanuatu are not called Vanuatans or Vanuatuvians... they’re called Ni-Vanuatu. Which is a brilliant name which makes them sound like a kick-ass warrior race from Star Trek. Ka-POW! After doffing…

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Day M51: Mystery Island

17.11.11: How could one not love a place called Mystery Island? An uninhabited island located in the very south of Vanuatu, this tiny dot of land is believed to be haunted and so living here is taboo. Why is it haunted? Well I guess that's the mystery of Mystery Island. Although the Ghost of Christmas Past doesn’t stop us tourists stomping all over the place (and it didn’t stop the Yanks building an airstrip that takes up half the island). Again we took to the launches and to step foot in the 187th country of The Odyssey Expedition was a sheer joy. I hung out on the island with my new cruise chums Stef and Crystal and did the usual stuff one does on mysterious islands... Drink kava out of a coconut shell... Fend off the local warriors... Bring out the dancing girls... Hang out at…

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